My current project is a level 60 troll mage named Aching, named after Tiffany Aching from a few Terry Pratchett’s novels. (However, this name is boring, and female trolls are fugly, so once she hits 80 she might become a female undead named Elamwatson. and by might, I mean she will.) She’s super fun to play.

My conundrum, and the reason I didn’t level her for the longest time, is that I have absolutely no intention of speccing out of the frost tree, as I find arcane boring and fire tedious. Since Frost dps currently is worse than your grandmother’s pitching arm, we won’t really work out at level 80.

However, patch 3.3 is looking awesome for frost pve dps. First off, Deep Freeze will have a new effect on raid bosses that makes it hit like a compendium of Shakespeare’s plays dropped from the Empire State Building. (Something like 20-25k damage every 30 seconds, iirc. It’s hot.) Second, and more relevant to this blog, is the Glyph of Enduring Winter (or something), that makes Water Elemental a permanent pet while taking away it’s pvp usefulness.

Now, this is awesome for me. Right now, I’m pretty tight with my Water Elemental, even though I only get to see him 1/3 of the time. He’s like the friend I go out to dinner with every few months or so…except every 3rd minute. Same difference. Come 3.3 (and hopefully, a level 80 frost mage), mr. Water Elemental will be the Daniel Radcliffe to my Elam Watson, except less doable.

This, however, is where my problem lies. My Fire Elemental (and yours. And every other fire elemental totem on the planet) is somewhat affectionately named Sparky by my lovely guild leader. My Earth Elemental doesn’t need a name, because he hasn’t enjoyed a spot on my bar since Mulan was in theaters. Charles <Darwinism’s Pet> is a well established member of the League of Extraordinary Elam pets. Mr. Water Elemental, however, can not go on being named “Mr. Water Elemental,” as he’s no longer a dinner guest and is now a traveling companion.

Normally, I’d name him myself. However, like every other thing I name, one of three things will happen: A) I’ll name him Theodore. No idea why, but I love the name Theodore, even though every Theodore I’ve ever met was a prat. (No offense to readers named Theodore.) However, I always name things Theodore from inanimate objects to babies. It won’t work out. B)I’ll name him something Russian, which is my default fallback plan. For example, my laptop’s name is Rasputin, and my iPod is Anastasia. C)I’ll name it Mulan, because I fucking love Mulan.

However, all of my names are predictable, and I’m pretty bored with them. To that end, I’m sponsoring a contest! Everyone has till exactly 1:47 AM next Tuesday morning to submit as many water elemental fitting names* as possible as comments.Why? Because I say so.

And, as a reward, just because I’m trying to be absurd as possible, I think I’ll take a picture of myself with a cardboard cutout of Edward Cullen and a personalized note to the winner. Because I can’t think of anything hotter than me in a steamy embrace with an inch-thin piece of cardboard that has more depth than the character it’s exhibiting.

Aww yea.

*Srsly, though-No Nemor. No Squirtle. No Ariel. Think harder!

(Quick note: /afk tomorrow. I’ve been tagged by our raid leader/feral tank extraordinairre in his tank survey, which means I have to complete it talking about my experiences as a blood dk. Additionally, over at my guild leader’s blog, our Canadian berserker tagged me in his guest post dps survey, which means I also get to do the DPS survey…which is probably the one that anyone reading this blog most want to read. xD That said, tomorrow is a schoolwork day, with two short essays and a reading of Hamlet due Wednesday, as well as my normal work day. My schedule is so packed that I’m admittedly worried about having time to raid, so I doubt I’ll be blogging…unless I’m a sneaky hobbit and cheat at work. )

Back when it was relevant content, our 10man progression group downed a little boss named Mimiron. Except, this wasn’t your normal mimiron. This was a mimiron who blanketed the room with fire and called down small firefighter bots, among other things. After a week of attempts on him, the general consensus of those in the group was “oh my god, I will stab myself with a rusty spork in the eye before considering running this fight again.” Those of us not lucky enough to be in that first Firefighter cried out in horror, but the launch of ToC shortly after distracted us from our self-pity party.

A month later, on a boring Sunday night during a stretch of time where our 25man progression was halted due to lack of attendance, we decided we’d do 10ulduar hardmodes for enjoyment. We figured we’d go for the easy ones, such as Heartbreaker/Hodir/Ignis Speed Kill(not a hardmode, but a meta req.), and leave the hard ones for never. However, through some strange form of luck, we one shot every hardmode/meta requirement from Ignis to Freya+3. We reached Mimrron, and dubiously decided to defeat the dastardly dgnome. Through some stroke of luck, we managed to 4 or 5 shot Firefighter- a fight that at least 1/2 of the raid had never seen before. We went on to wipe once on General hard before calling the raid at Yogg-Saron’s door, with the full intent of returning to visit.

This was September 27th. That id rotted in a Flea’d bear raid lead’s raid tabs for an entire month, while Liluye sat in /g and tried to garner interest in taking on 1light. One raid did try to make attempts, but it was 1:30ish in the morning, and apparently it’s hard to raid fights you’ve not done before while half the raid is snoring. After 3 or 4 attempts, they failed. October 25th, nearly a full month after I downed firefighter for the first time, and 2 and a half since surreality did, I got a text from a certain resto cow telling me that I was needed in the brain phase for bloodlust. Ecstatic, I broke a few laws rushing to my house to boot up my computer, and with high spirits we smashed 1light in the darkness. (In something like 2-3 attempts.) We then proceeded to use a dragon to lightly toast a few dwarves, and called it the night…with me needing two of the easiest hardmodes in the instance left for my meta- 4towers Flame Leviathan and Disarmed Kologarn. I’m not quite sure why I had two of the easiest achievements left up, especially since I have disarmed on my holy paladin who has only seen Uld once, but I needed them both.

Some tomfoolery happened last week, and I ended up missing those two bosses that I needed most. I did happen to get into the latter half of the raid, and managed to score a super qt 2.7 speed weapon off Cthulu’s lieutenant when we downed 1 light and I watched another 3 persons score their glory of the ulduar raider achievements. (I also managed to die on Mimiron to PEWx2, a mistake I haven’t made since people were still pretending “noob” was cool, ruining three raiders “Champion of Ulduar” title, but that’s a story for another time. >.<)

I finally got into Uld 10 again tonight, an Uldur group that was specially created by a few awesome people to ensure I finally got my drake. After some rocky attempts at Flame Leviathan (apparently, having six of us not knowing the fight is a bad thing!) we pressed on to Kolo and ripped his arms off like an angry wookie. I was spammed with achievements, and truly considered nerdscreaming over vent. After something like 12 weeks since our guild first got Firefighter (considered the benchmark hardmode achievement), I finally got my Glory of the Ulduar Raider and Rusted Proto-drake, which replaced my amber drake that every kids with a second grade reading level and access to a computer can get without making an effort. and, it’s 310% speed!

They see me soaring, I'm flyyyying!

Yea, he's a beast.

Yes, I know I was month’s behind with it. Yes, I know that 245-258 gear made it significantly more manageable than it was a tier of content ago. And, I know I’m probably going to get flak from random level 1 alts telling me that I got my mount when it didn’t matter anymore.

But really, I don’t care. To me, this was an achievement. Going from where I was 6months ago, where my computer was so bad that I died enough that I was at times considered a liability rather than a help, it’s exciting. Knowing that a huge part of our lack of success was simple apathy, and the fact that we’d go months at a time without stepping foot in Ulduar again, it was an achievement. Knowing that my guild leaders like me enough that they spent the past three days post-25 raids trying to get me my own drake makes me ecstatic. And, honestly, the fact that I have a mount that looks like a badass is an achievement in itself.

So yes, I was months behind. I might be months behind on my tribute to insanity too. However, I’m still having fun.and I’m still proud of what I’ve been able to do in this game.

So yea, I was up to 3k gold this week. Which is pretty spectacular for me, as I’m the one who went an entire expansion and a half without epic flying because I hate making money. I’m bad at it. Mainly because making money is booooring, and I’d rather be writing a blog, cleaning my sock drawer, giving a bath to an angry dwarf, saving the world, watching the plate spin in the microwave, etc. Nevertheless, through freak happenstance and me forgetting to spend money, I somehow managed to hit 3kish gold between Notelam and Elam. (Thinking about it, it was more like 3.5, actually.)

So, what did I do? Did I invest in the stock market? No. It’s wow and the stock market doesn’t exist, and if it did I wouldn’t trust it. Cairne/Thrall/Garrosh don’t exactly scream GOOD WITH NUMBERS to me. Did I decide to follow one of the thousand inscription guides and buyout herbs in bulk like I’m a drug dealer so that I might get rich of other people respeccing? No, because after the 82nd time my glyph of fan of knives didn’t sell last month, I decided that listing and relisting is a woman’s job. (I KID!!)

So, what did I do? I rescued all the money from my assorted character, assembled into one big pixelated pile on Elam, and dropped my herbalism tradeskill. Why? I have it on Notelam AND Grazeless too. Both my other 80s. >.< So, I clicked the little red “do not click this box” box, dropped my ability to go “^_^” and pick flowers while skipping through mulgore, and started enchanting.

Now, I was -planning- on paying my way to 300. After that, I was heading to Outland later this week to FARMFARMFARM my way to 350, and likewise until 450! I went about merrily on my way, spending maybe 500-1k gold getting to 300. Not so bad, I decided. Why not push for 350?…

Ok, goldsinks known as “runed STUPIDEXPENSIVE rods” aside (honestly, these are where the cost of leveling enchanting lies. They’re fucking 500ish G a piece at 350+), it was oooonly another 1000+ gold (and a loan from a qt rogue!) to get to 350. And besides, those ring enchants look miiiighty nice. So, I pushed on, scrounging up every green from between my alts, stalking the auction house for low cost infinite dust and got myself to 400 enchanting. And, with the 80 gold between -all- my characters (yes, I stole gold from my low level alts using it to level), I wasn’t even able to afford my level 380-400 enchanting recipes, so all I got was my 40 AP ring enchant.

Maybe I’ll be able to make half of the cost back from the thousand scrolls of enchant -something or other- that I made. True fax, inscripion+enchanting are almost as good a team as Sonny and Cher. Except, they both stay alive.

Was 80 Attack Power really worth it?

Would it have been more prudent for me to have been patient and farmed the mats?

Who framed Roger Rabbit?

These answers and more on the next episode of Unsolved Mysteries. :S (SRSLY, WHERE THE @#$% DID THAT SHOW GOOO.)

((Oh, and the answer was “probably not, but the 20 abyss crystals in my bank say ‘it’s cool, we still love you.’ Enchanting is freaking fun.”))

I Leveled Enchanting.

Goodbye 3KG.

————–

Daft Punk is Awesome.

I Really Like One More Time

And Technologic.

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Wrote a Long Paper

Ok, Was Just 5 pages.

But it was Shakespeare

————–

Tamora- Not Cool.

Lavinia is a Doormat.

Word Sucks at Pages

————–

In The Deep Darkness

One Light Finally Appeared

The Stapler Worked.

To that end, I figured it’d be a pretty rad idea to put together an informal guild of Shaman on the PTR, so that we have a place to discuss new changes, flex our epeen aoe damage, and generally make fools of ourselves. It’s going to be named <Best Shaman on Server>, because I have a huge ego and I thought it’d be funny.

It is going to be informal, which means:

• -Posting Meters is cool, provided you have a reason for doing it. “Hey, look at this 7500 dps on Sarth is cool; I think it has something to do with Fire Nova” would be sort of what I’m looking for.
• -As far as I can tell, we have some pretty inane and pointless conversations on the shaman forums. I start a quarter of them. That’s fine too- we can’t talk Shaman 24/7…it’ll get boring.
• -Alts are cool. Because being able to play a destro lock at 80 with reign of the dead when you’ve not been able to convince yourself to level out of the Barrens is a fun time.
• -Bashing on Blizzard is not cool when taken in an extreme. “I don’t understand/hate that they removed Fire Nova Stun” is fine. “OMG FIRE NOVA STUN NERF IS PROOF THAT BLIZZARD HATES THIS CLASS” is stupid, and I will demote you to a rank of “not being able to talk in guild” for a length in time.
  -Open Door Policy. If your guild wants to make a concerted effort at Icecrown Citadel, definitely drop guild to do it with them. If your guild decides to stop due to lack of interest and you want to come back in, that’s perfectly fine too…provided you weren’t an annoying twat to begin with.
  -Any spec is fine. I focus on PVE Enhance myself, but PVP Enhance, PVE/PVP Elemental, PVE/PVP Restos are all cool.

If anyone is interested, I’ll be on my Premade Draenei (Yes, we’re doing it ally side) Shaman Failam, on Broxrigar- the PVE server. I’m working on getting charter signatures now, and hope to have it up and running within the next few days.

Hope to see/talk to you all in game form soon.

What I was not expecting was this:

Screenshot by Shadowxtz o nthe Moonrunner server!

Note some of the pretty things in this image:

A) It’s a 2.6 speed mace! Luvluvluvluvluv.

B) It’s BoE! So even if you don’t manage to see this QT in the next week (it drops off Mr. Direbrew in Blackrock Depths, but he’s shy and only comes out once a year), you should be able to buy one, albeit for a pretty penny.

C) It’s iLevel 226. For those of you for whom the word “iLevel” sounds like a foreign language (my dad included!), iLevel 200 items drop out of Naxx10/Coren Direbrew. ILevel 226 items drop off 25 KT/Reg Uld 25 bosses, meaning that this item is as well itemized as Calamity’s Grasp(and with Agi, Haste, Ap, Crit, to boot!) Because of this, not only are the stats nice, but it also has a whopping 171.5 dps, meaning no more farming H ToC for your dual Aledar’s Battlestar, which is only iLevel 219.

D) It looks preeeeeeetty.

Photo by same person as above photo. I'm unoriginal!

Yes, I want it. Minus the fact that it’s a downgrade.

However, I’m so going after it on my Death Knight Tank’s offspec-but-sometimes-main-spec-depending-on-my-mood. (Remember, Threat of Tharassian DW death knights follow the same weapon speed rules as us!) I’m totally looking forward to being a Femcow with mugs for hands.

This is Elam, signing off from Panera, as I finished my soup before typing (it was so good!) and I think I’m getting weird looks from the other patrons from salivating over this weapon.

Cheers to all who get it!

Yes, that is 14k mana. At level 71. Here’s looking at you, Utgarde Keep!

(Also, notice the catchy name!)

Edit: Also, I must share the story of how I came by Arcane Brilliance:

It was a bright, sunny day in Borean Tundra, which means temperatures were probably somewhere between freezing cold and I-really-wish-I-had-flashdance=style-legwarmers with me. I was making my happy way around that one lake in Borean Tundra where Tiger Lily grows like a child eating Kix when I happened upon a qt fembelf 80 rogue fishing. Now, this might scare some people, as fembelf rogues do not tend to like female human retribution paladins. However, recognizing the name (and the fact that she’s in the same guild as every one of my horde characters, ;P), I knew she was pretty much the nicest person ever and proceeded to spam emote her and her scary level 80 mage friend (who looked like he was about to disintegrate me. Or something.) However, she seemed to temper his mighty temper when she emoted back, and then proceeded to mind control me with her http://www.wowhead.com/?item=10726. The mage then buffed me, and the two went through their shiny portal to the flying monstrosity known as a main city, and I was left bewildered by the fact that you could get buffed during a gnomish mind control. It was pretty excellent.