So, here’s the deal. Somewhere around my fourth level 80 (a holy paladin, which was preceeded by a Tank Death Knight, Enhancement Shaman, and Survival Hunter), I realized I was an altaholic. I’ve come to embrace this fact, as alts are crazy fun to play- if you’ve never aoe farmed as a frost mage, or siphon life tanked as an affliction lock, or pretended you were useful as any spec of druid, you’re missing out. (imho!)
My current project is a level 60 troll mage named Aching, named after Tiffany Aching from a few Terry Pratchett’s novels. (However, this name is boring, and female trolls are fugly, so once she hits 80 she might become a female undead named Elamwatson. and by might, I mean she will.) She’s super fun to play.
My conundrum, and the reason I didn’t level her for the longest time, is that I have absolutely no intention of speccing out of the frost tree, as I find arcane boring and fire tedious. Since Frost dps currently is worse than your grandmother’s pitching arm, we won’t really work out at level 80.
However, patch 3.3 is looking awesome for frost pve dps. First off, Deep Freeze will have a new effect on raid bosses that makes it hit like a compendium of Shakespeare’s plays dropped from the Empire State Building. (Something like 20-25k damage every 30 seconds, iirc. It’s hot.) Second, and more relevant to this blog, is the Glyph of Enduring Winter (or something), that makes Water Elemental a permanent pet while taking away it’s pvp usefulness.
Now, this is awesome for me. Right now, I’m pretty tight with my Water Elemental, even though I only get to see him 1/3 of the time. He’s like the friend I go out to dinner with every few months or so…except every 3rd minute. Same difference. Come 3.3 (and hopefully, a level 80 frost mage), mr. Water Elemental will be the Daniel Radcliffe to my Elam Watson, except less doable.
This, however, is where my problem lies. My Fire Elemental (and yours. And every other fire elemental totem on the planet) is somewhat affectionately named Sparky by my lovely guild leader. My Earth Elemental doesn’t need a name, because he hasn’t enjoyed a spot on my bar since Mulan was in theaters. Charles <Darwinism’s Pet> is a well established member of the League of Extraordinary Elam pets. Mr. Water Elemental, however, can not go on being named “Mr. Water Elemental,” as he’s no longer a dinner guest and is now a traveling companion.
Normally, I’d name him myself. However, like every other thing I name, one of three things will happen: A) I’ll name him Theodore. No idea why, but I love the name Theodore, even though every Theodore I’ve ever met was a prat. (No offense to readers named Theodore.) However, I always name things Theodore from inanimate objects to babies. It won’t work out. B)I’ll name him something Russian, which is my default fallback plan. For example, my laptop’s name is Rasputin, and my iPod is Anastasia. C)I’ll name it Mulan, because I fucking love Mulan.
However, all of my names are predictable, and I’m pretty bored with them. To that end, I’m sponsoring a contest! Everyone has till exactly 1:47 AM next Tuesday morning to submit as many water elemental fitting names* as possible as comments.Why? Because I say so.
And, as a reward, just because I’m trying to be absurd as possible, I think I’ll take a picture of myself with a cardboard cutout of Edward Cullen and a personalized note to the winner. Because I can’t think of anything hotter than me in a steamy embrace with an inch-thin piece of cardboard that has more depth than the character it’s exhibiting.
Aww yea.
*Srsly, though-No Nemor. No Squirtle. No Ariel. Think harder!
(Quick note: /afk tomorrow. I’ve been tagged by our raid leader/feral tank extraordinairre in his tank survey, which means I have to complete it talking about my experiences as a blood dk. Additionally, over at my guild leader’s blog, our Canadian berserker tagged me in his guest post dps survey, which means I also get to do the DPS survey…which is probably the one that anyone reading this blog most want to read. xD That said, tomorrow is a schoolwork day, with two short essays and a reading of Hamlet due Wednesday, as well as my normal work day. My schedule is so packed that I’m admittedly worried about having time to raid, so I doubt I’ll be blogging…unless I’m a sneaky hobbit and cheat at work. 
)
Comments (22)
Frosty
Iceman
Shiva
Brain isn’t working this morning. I may come up with something better than those three generics
You said it yourself:
“mr. Water Elemental will be the Daniel Radcliffe to my Elam Watson, except less doable.”
Has to be Rupert, after Rupert Grint who plays Ron. Like Daniel, but less doable
And follows her found like a puppy…
Frostitute
He looks like a Percy to me.
Because I am an utter nerd and i like names such as these i’ll start of with some vet school related terms that seem fitting
Hypervolemia (scientific term meaning fluid overload)
Edema (fluid build-up)
Osmoregulator (mechanism for controlling fluid balance in the body)
Dihydrogen Monoxide (exceptionally overcomplicated way to say water)
Polydipsia (medical term meaning VERY thirsty)
hyperhydration (condition the opposite of dehydration, can cause death)
Kelvin (a scientific temperature scale, zero Kelvin is more commonly known as absolute zero or the coldest possible temperature attainable)
-Bob2 (aforementioned “Canadian berserker”)
Name him Rudy Ruettiger
@Bob2 – Nerd!
… Kelvin is an awesome name for a frost mage’s water elemental, though! (Still think he looks like a Percy.)
I have to say, I’m leaning towards Percy or Kelvin right now.
Rupert, Shiva, and Frostitute are contenders, though…even though Frostitute is not actually a name, I find it fun.
MOAR NAMES NAO, because I’m laughing my butt off at work.
so you don’t like the rest of my sciency one? i’m insulted!
Looking around at “modern magic” these names came up for the element of water.
The archangel of water is Gabriel, the angel is Taliahad, the ruler is Tharsis, the king is Nichsa, and the water elementals (following Paracelsus) are called Undines.
And I’m liking Frostitute as well hehe.
@Bob2-The science names don’t roll off the tongue! I can’t be like “Good osmoregulator! Way to control…my body’s fluid balance. /pet”
@Ookum- Ooh, fancy. Undines makes me laugh, though, because it sounds so much like “Undies.” Does this make me a terrible person? I think so.
@Treecle- Hehe, Rupert is a fun name. I like that name! That said, I hate Ron Weasley, and I don’t want my pet named after him.
Hermione was too good for him! >:(
Bob, you are forbidden from playing a hunter. Ever.
…..you don’t like my names either? =’(
I’d call it Vågen.
I liked Kelvin!
Aquaman
Gi (The Planeteer (I can be one too) )
Mr. Leaky
Not Sparky
too bad you have a troll mage, I think a water elemental called Mr. Bubbles would be great for a gnome mage
I like Shiva, but that’s because I’m a FF addict; however, she was the ice goddess; Leviathan is generally the water summon.
I’d probably name it Kirsdarke because I’m obsessively devouring Elizabeth Haydon’s Rhapsody series right now, and it’s the name for the legendary blade of water (and because “Kirsdarkenvar,” the name of the wielder of the watery blade, is too much of a mouth full to shout out randomly during raids). I’m such a nerd…
Frosty seems like the appropriate parallelism to Sparky -.-
I assume you’ve considered things like Poseidon already? Check the wiki page for water deities if you haven’t: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Water_deity
“River” in honor of River Tamm? *cough* I already mentioned that I’m a huge nerd, right?
You could try “Siren” after the mythical creatures that lured sailors to peril, though I believe they were more akin to harpies than anything else and despite leading men to death at sea resided on land.
Davy Jones?
Oh, PS, @Ooke, “Mr. Bubbles” makes me think of Bubbles from the Power Puff Girls
when i look at him i see “Mr. Pee” ….rough like Mr. T but water like pee… >.<
I name pets after characters from MASH.
So Elam, its been a week and a half since your random deadline…..we getting results at some point?
-Bob2
P.S. neurophysiology sucks